Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever let someone hurt you because you were afraid they would leave you?
One day he loved me and the next he didn’t. Strange isn’t it? How fast someone’s feelings can change and then there’s nothing you can do but accept it. You have to sit and accept the fact you’re completely in love with someone who doesn’t even give a shit whether you come or go and frankly they would rather have it if you didn’t come around at all. You just have to sit around and watch the one you’d choose no matter what choose someone else. And that sucks.
I would choose him and do it all over again in a heartbeat despite everything that happened. I would do it over one thousand times. People may say that’s a silly thing to say but personally, I don’t regret him the slightest.
You see, suddenly the excruciating realisation that I will never be able to be with the person I am so deeply in love with hits, and everything I had to be happy about seems to disappear. Then there I am. Left with nothing but pain and grief. Oh what a tragedy this truly is. But as it always does, life goes on. And even if the pain seems too much to bear, things will get better. Or at least that’s what they say right?
But we all know that’s another thing that we need to realize, that things don’t get better – I just get better at hiding things.
I think I got over it,
And i guess in a sense, I did.. I don’t cry myself to sleep anymore. I’ve actually began to eat all of my dinner without feeling sick. I’m waking up without his name in my mind, I’m not starting my days off missing him anymore. I get over it, but I never get over him. It’s crazy, how I can miss someone like that, how I can go weeks, even months without thinking of their name – but the littlest thing such as a scent similar to his can make me feel like I’m losing him all over again.